1. Kane retires – After a premiership, four club B&Fs, All Australian selection and 300 games, Port Adelaide champion Kane Cornes will hang up the boots. I’m beyond devastated and slightly disappointed that it’s happening mid season because I could only see good things ahead for us this year. With an eye to the future, Cornes applied to the SA Metropolitan Fire Service and was accepted, however needs to join the next training intake or risk not being able to apply again. Cornes has been an absolute hero for our club, a tough competitor who will leave behind an immense legacy. Go well, Kane.

2. What happens in Tassie… – Except we don’t actually really know what happened in Tassie, do we? What we do know is that North Melbourne coach Brad Scott had a run in with a security guard, then the club shut up shop and cited “legal reasons” for not commenting. Tasmanian police have confirmed they’re investigating an alleged assault but otherwise, no one’s really talking. Curiouser and curiouser. Not the best year for coaches so far.

3. GWS! – I went to the Melbourne v Sydney game last weekend and before slinking into my seat, decided to go and grab a hot dog. Everyone seemed to be crowded around the small TV screens in the walkway, intensely focused on one of the other games. “Who gives a shit about Adelaide v Gold Coast?” I thought to myself before realising that it was actually the game involving GWS and Hawthorn that they cared about… and GWS were ahead with bare minutes left on the clock. The Giants managed to get up and it would have to be the best win in the club’s short history I reckon.

4. Oh when the Saints – From chocolates to boiled lollies as they say, last weekend was one for Bulldogs fans to forget and Saints supporters to remember. Overcoming a 55-point deficit, St Kilda stormed home to beat the Dogs and made everyone realise that the sons of the west may not be as good as we’d hoped.

5. WADA – Appealing. Again. Yawn. Wake me up when this shit’s over.