Author: Nat Webster

Is there anything more frustrating than hearing someone say, “it’s just a game”? Because for many of us, it is something far greater and more precious about that. We live it and breathe it and study it and feel it like almost nothing else. Your team wins and you’re the king of the world – lose and it’s a week of heartache and ribbing from friends and colleagues (and family if you’re truly unlucky). I’ve started this blog because there are few things I like to talk about more than AFL and I have some really great friends. I also wanted a space to record essays, thoughts or photographs about our great game. My aim is to publish some of my friends’ observations about football and my own thoughts on what’s happening in the AFL - I generally write up my thoughts on the Port Adelaide game each week and the interviews with friends are all published in a first person style. I also wanted to have an online space around AFL that wasn’t the arguing idiocy that forums can devolve into, the incredible bias of Facebook pages, Supercoach anything, or purely match review style pieces. I wanted posts that are interesting to read on a theme or issue and I’m always infinitely keen to hear other people’s opinions when they’re delivered in a thoughtful manner. Some quick information abut me – my name is Natalie, I'm from NSW, I live in Melbourne and I’m a Port Adelaide supporter. A proud Port Adelaide supporter, I should say. I’m also the black sheep of my family as they all follow the Sydney Swans, though consequently I do hold the Bloods very close to my heart as well. I grew up in country NSW watching rugby league and rugby union and we were horrified at the idea of this “aerial ping pong” business until Sydney made the grand final in 1996 – first game I ever watched was the Brisbane Bears v Essendon final that year while I was studying for my HSC. I decided to go with the new team Port Adelaide in 1997 and the rest, as they say, is history.

300.

I’ve waited nearly a week to post this because I wanted to marshal my thoughts and not fire off simply based on emotion.

I’ll start by telling a story: at the end of September I’m taking three months off my job to travel across the US, Canada, Cuba and Mexico. It’s the absolute trip of a life time and I’m very much looking forward to it. I’ve been on a couple of overseas trips over the past few years and each time I’ve made sure to go after the footy season is over. I adore finals footy and grand final day is even better than Christmas in my mind. This year I wanted to take my extended trip and there wasn’t really a way to do it that allowed me to see out the season.

So I opened up my calendar and requested three months off starting on the 29 August. That would mean I’d been away for around five weeks before grand final day. Given Port Adelaide’s amazing ascension over the past two seasons I was certain this was going to be our year and I’d be destined to miss out on it. I’m not sure I could bear it. I also have a membership that gives me access to the ticket ballot for the GF meaning it was not only likely we’d be there but that I could go. So I made the executive decision that if Port made the grand final, I’d fly back. I’d throw $1500 at the problem and make sure I was home for that last weekend in September (or first weekend in October as the case may be).

Unfortunately my dad has decided to retire this year after 39 years in the New South Wales police force and his retirement function has been set for 19 September. Which then necessitated pushing my holiday back by three weeks and with it being too close to the grand final weekend, I’ve come to the sad realisation that I won’t have been away long enough to make it worthwhile to come back, nor is the time frame short enough that I can just push my holiday back until after the game.

The other sad realisation has, of course, been that Port Adelaide don’t look to be half the team they were in 2014 or even 2013 and are less likely to make the grand final than I assumed. We’re showing flashes of brilliance but the consistency, the determination the excitement and the run just don’t seem to be there. So no matter what my holiday planning looks like, it may not even matter.

The loss against Richmond last weekend was disgraceful, particularly given we were sending club stalwart Kane Cornes off after 300 games. Unlike some of our earlier losses this season Port never ever looked to be in the game. The Tigers had it all over us from the first bounce and at no stage did the Power even look like we were going to win. It was sloppy, indecisive football punctuated by kicks out on the full, kicks to opposition players and a total lack of options. Cornes was valiant and Gray tried hard, but we were like a Rolls Royce with a dead engine and no GPS.

God I wanted to smack the smile off that smug prick Riewoldt’s face.

On the day we were beaten by a team that played better and wanted it more, but we weren’t beaten by a better team. Port Adelaide are still the same side that fell short in a prelim by only three points last year, we’re still the same side that put on 60 points in a quarter against last year’s grand final winners, still the same side that can play exciting, dynamic and most importantly, winning, footy. This Port team is an incredibly talented team. We just need to step up and show that and I don’t know why we seemingly can’t.

I was at my best friend’s house watching the game with her family and to be honest, I was dying to leave with about 10 minutes to go but we hadn’t eaten our dessert yet. And I didn’t want to act like too much of a petulant child. And the dessert was lemon meringue pie, so… I stuck it out. I won’t lie, it really, really, really hurt. How dare they let someone like Cornes, someone who has given us so much for so long, go off with that type of insipid performance? I’m not sure why we couldn’t dig deep enough to show him the respect he deserved.

I was pretty flat that night and through the next day. Then I saw the above picture on social media and it kind of jolted me back to reality. Because it’s true, we’re only a short way into a long season. While we may not look like immediate premiers, we still have 14 rounds in which to prove ourselves.

It’s not over and we’re not done, not by a long shot. So let’s do this.

And thanks for the memories Kane. As Kenny said, “Kane Cornes is Port Adelaide.” Go well mate.

The anticipation.

I love seeing the MCG lit up and ready to go.

I love seeing it when I leave work late on a Friday and am inching through traffic on Flinders Street, the lights shining on my right and the sky turning pink as the sun goes down. I love seeing it when I go through Richmond on a chilly winter night, the light poles stretching into the dark. I love seeing it in the distance as I walk down Punt Road to go to a game, the anticipation surging through me and the excitement stating to build.

I also love seeing it super early in the morning against the backdrop of a sunrise, wondering what exhilaration and heartbreak have been experienced there only hours before.

Nothing beats those moments when you walk up to the ground and everything seems ready to go, calling you closer and closer and closer… You figure out which gate you need to go through and there’s that first glimpse of the green grass on the field.

You’re here. It’s on. Let’s do this.

Why would you want to be anywhere else on a Saturday night in Melbourne?

(Cracking win by the Swans tonight too in the grand final replay against Hawthorn. Just sneaking home there at the end makes it even sweeter.)

What we’re talking about this week – Round 8.

1. Fyfe’s still in it – Say what you like about Nat Fyfe’s trip, I actually think the tribunal made the right call on this one. $1000 fine seems about right and it wouldn’t have sat comfortably for me if he was wiped out of the Brownlow running over what looked to be incredibly minor.

2. Old man Crawf – So I’m a bit late to this one but this week someone put me on to the Footy Show‘s Old Man Crawf segment with Melbourne players Bernie Vince and Jack Watts – I’ve watched it three times so far and each time I’ve cried with laughter. As in, had to wipe genuine tears from my face. It’s absolute gold and poor Bernie tries so hard, what a good kid.

3. Power failure – Everyone (myself clearly included) had them pencilled it for grand finalists at the very least and we knew they had the worst draw out of all the teams, however Port Adelaide’s start to the year has everyone wondering just where that side that fell only three points short of making last year’s GF has gone? They look tired and ineffective and getting flogged by Brisbane won’t go down as one for the highlights reel. Hopefully they lift this week and send Kane Cornes off in style.

4. Concussion, what concussion? – Nick Riewoldt’s head injury put concussions back on everyone’s list of talking points. How many is too many? What is the impact on life post footy? In the end concussions forced Lions’ great Jonathan Brown out of the game and given Riewoldt’s history of head knocks it might see him go the same way.

5. Brion the Lion – I’d say Brisbane can’t be serious but hey, they beat Port. Also you know you’ve made it when someone creates a fake Twitter account for you.

“I think people give up too easily on coaches or players and they don’t give them a chance any more.”

Beck Angel is one of those people it’s almost impossible not to like – she’s bright, bubbly and pretty with an infectiously charming personality. That said, she does barrack for Essendon. Hard. So I suppose no one’s perfect. Beck’s also one of the rare people who grew up in the heartland of the club she’s supported all her life (except for one week) and it’s been a difficult couple of years for Bombers fans. I had a chat to her about Jobe, peptides, Jobe, attending the Brownlow, Jobe and why she yells out “Napkins!” at every game. And we also touched on Jobe.

Name: Beck Angel

Age: 31

Recruited from: Airport West

Occupation: Communications superstar for Toyota

AFL team followed: Essendon Bombers

All time favourite footy moment: 1993 and 2000 Grand Finals, meeting Jobe Watson

“I go for Essendon because I have to. It’s a family tradition to be an Essendon supporter. I grew up in the area so it’s Bombers for life. It’s certainly not the peptides that keeps me going for them now; Jobe Watson keeps me going. Except for three in-laws – one aunty and two uncles- everyone else goes for Essendon. For a week in oh, I think it would have been about ’94 or ’95, I barracked for Carlton. That was because my best friend Rosanna barracked for Carlton. My grand dad lived around the corner and I went around to see him and knocked on the door for him to open up, then I said “Grand dad guess what? I barrack for Carlton!”. I thought he went to open the door but he locked it and told me I wasn’t coming in until I barracked for Essendon. So I soon earned the error of my ways.

Because I grew up in the area, a lot of people I know went for Essendon. The local shops were always Essendon, people my dad worked with worked at the Essendon footy club, my next door neighbour worked at the Essendon footy club. In my area it was all very Essendon.

I can’t remember the year, it would have been probably ’91 or ’92 but I’m not really sure, but my first game was Essendon v North Melbourne. My dad took me and I went with all of my relatives. That was when I could walk and I was in the Southern Stand on the third floor, right up the top. My uncle was there who barracks for North Melbourne and the rest were Essendon. Essendon were losing but we got up at three-quarter time and then we lost. I was devastated. After that I always thought that if a team was winning in the third quarter then that means they have to lose, because that’s what happened to Essendon.

Probably the 1993 grand final is my favourite moment. I was very young and I was in Queensland with my family and we were watching it there. It’s more the lead up to it rather than the actual game. In Queensland we didn’t realise about the heat… Mum and dad took us to the supermarket and we got red and black balloons and streamers, and our 13th floor balcony was opposite the beach. We covered it on the morning with streamers, Essendon red and black, and put all out balloons up there then went to the beach. We kept hearing, “pop, pop, pop” and the balloons were all popping in the heat. Everyone was like, “What the hell? Who is this putting balloons up?”. Then we watched the game and we had our footy jumpers and our scarves on. When we won we were running around the pool, knocking on all the apartment buildings telling everyone Essendon had won. We couldn’t work out why no one in Queensland cared! It was just a very magical moment.

Worst moment was my first time at a grand final for Essendon, which was 2001. We lost and I was devastated because I missed out on the 2000 grand final. I went with my dad and I lined up for ages at the MCG to get tickets. Dad also wouldn’t let me get my face painted ’cause he sad he wouldn’t sit near me. I remember Vanessa Amorosi was playing and I was crying already at the start – my dad was very embarrassed that I was crying during the national anthem. And then Essendon lost and I must admit, I couldn’t bear to be there right at the end of the grand final so we left with about two minutes to spare. I couldn’t bear to watch the Essendon players down on their knees with their face in their hands and being very upset. It was my only grand final experience watching Essendon and it was shattering.

It’s been a tough few years to be an Essendon supporter. I feel for the players and football hasn’t been as enjoyable to watch. Even watching a game but knowing afterwards that James Hird’s going to talk about it or he’s going to be complaining about something in the media, or Caroline Wilson will be bagging Essendon for the fifth time that week… I don’t really like reading about it. I now think this season’s over for me after WADA’s appeal.

I don’t want to stray away from the club and I still love Essendon the same, it’s just not as enjoyable when the only thing people talk about when they find out you’re an Essendon supporter isn’t how they played on the weekend or how amazing Fletch is to still be playing at 40, it’s about the peptides. We’ve all heard it, you know when someone says “Uhhhh are you taking peptides?” and the joke’s old now. It’s certainly torn supporters and I think there are those who support Hird and those who don’t. I think everyone support the players and still wants to do the right thing by the club but it’s Hird who is splitting people.

Gavin Wanganeen is still my favourite player. He was my first favourite player ever and I loved everything about him. Most of all he was very good looking. I cried when he went to Port Adelaide. I cried myself to sleep for about a week but I was comforted by the fact he was going back home. I also love everything about Jobe Watson. I love watching Joe Daniher as well, I think he’s performing really well and he’ll continue to. I’m always interested in seeing him. But I really can’t go past Jobe Watson these days.

There’s not so much another player I’d like to have at the club, I’m pretty happy with the Essendon team. There’s obviously some other good players out there, like I love Luke Hodge and I think he’s great. He’s getting on in his career but I think he’s great and he seems like a really good leader. But I’m pretty happy with who we’ve got. I’m happy we got Chappy (Paul Chapman) and I think we’ve stolen some good players, which is great.

On the field I hate Carlton, Collingwood and Hawthorn. I don’t like anything about those three clubs. I’m sure there’s nice things about them away from football but I hate them all and that’s probably because they always play well against us.

I haven’t had a membership in quite a few years. I used to always have one. The reason is my family stopped going to the football after we made the move to Etihad. My dad strongly opposed the move from the MCG to Etihad and went to all the meetings. Because of our fan base, he felt Etihad or whatever it was called at the time was too small. So I don’t have them to go with. My dad has been to Etihad once for a soccer game and he hates it. He refuses to go there for football. My other friend that I would always go to the football with, he moved to Queensland so I haven’t had a membership since he went up there. Of course I do occasionally get tickets through work.

If things go bad, I scream out “Napkins!” and repeatedly yell out “Napkins, napkins, napkins!”. When I was really young it worked, so in my head I just keep repeating the word ‘napkins’. I still do that now. I think it stemmed back to my nanna’s house and we did it while playing billiards. So I just repeatedly say it. When I was younger it was a little bit more out of control. This was actually when I was watching the games so people must have thought I was special. I also had different songs when different players got the ball. When Long got the ball I’d start singing, “Lalalala Long, lalalala Long, lalalala Long Long le Long Long Long” and when Harvey got it, it was “Harvey world travel, the travel professionals…”. I would have songs for a whole range of players and I’d sing them. I can’t remember what the others were. I try to forget. Now it’s only “napkins”.

When I’m not yelling “napkins” I get very stressed watching the football, but I can’t articulate myself. So I just move around in circles and just go “Oh nooooooooooo” in a really high pitched voice and just making noises because I can’t really say anything as I’m so stressed. I’m not good. My dad hates watching football with me and my brother hates it too. I can’t sit still.

I don’t have my jumpers any more because they don’t fit. I have my scarf and I will never get a proper scarf. This one has been my scarf since the early 1990s. I actually plait it as well and separate the red and the black then plait it when I’m getting stressed at the football. I always wear my scarf and then I just have other things around the house. Like I still have my Dean Solomon framed picture in my study. I had to throw out my Gavin Wanganeen stuff because it was too heartbreaking.

I think footy is the closest thing to a religion in Victoria, it’s always about who you know and who you go for. I remember once I started dating someone and I asked him what team he barracked for and he sort of didn’t really have a team. He got back to me and said “I kinda go for this team” and the fact he didn’t say “I barrack for this team” meant we didn’t go out again. I was like, a man not liking football is not a man for me. I think it gets you passionate, you have your ups and your downs but it brings everyone together and you make friends just from common interests. Or you like to bag Collingwood or Carlton fans.

The thing that I actually hate the most about football is that I think people give up too easily on coaches or players and they don’t give them a chance any more. There are coaches who didn’t have a great start decades ago and then they built on their skills and became great coaches. Nowadays it’s very ruthless and I actually feel for the coaches and the players. I wish that would change and we got behind them a little bit more rather than always criticising them.

The Brownlow was the best day of my life, I now know what people feel like on their wedding day. It was fantastic to go. I couldn’t go to the toilet the whole time I was there because I knew a football player would be in the disabled toilet and I didn’t trust myself not to abuse them. And I felt that as a representative of Toyota, the AFL’s premier partner, that that would not go down well. So I couldn’t go to the toilet the entire time. I spent 15 minutes trying to find Jobe and I nearly gave up trying to get through everyone, but then I saw Dyson Heppell’s hair and it was the most magical thing I’ve ever seen. Because when I saw it I knew it was Dyson and I knew Jobe would be sitting there. I couldn’t get close enough to him so I shoved my friend in front and said you just have to tell him there’s a girl in a wheelchair that wants a photo with you. Jobe just saw me in the wheelchair and it was just… magic. He came over and smiled and I couldn’t talk to him, I was so nervous. But I got my photo.

I didn’t have a problem with the double denim. When I watched Jobe that day I was more concerned about his hair to be honest, than the double denim. His hair was… interesting. He needed product in his hair, I think and it needed to be a bit shorter. I was also getting annoyed because he didn’t have stubble, because I do prefer Jobe with stubble. I also kept looking at him dreamily and thinking, “Oh my gosh this is Tim Watson”. I love Jobe and Jobe is Tim and I love Tim. And then I dreamt about having dinner with Tim, Susie, Jobe and myself.”

I can’t even deal.

That was probably the most insipid performance by the Port Adelaide football club under the Ken Hinkley regime. An absolute disgrace. I couldn’t even bear to stay to watch the end. To be beaten comprehensively by the team at the very bottom of the ladder is disgusting.

I think that sound is our team collapsing under the weight of this season’s expectations.

What we’re talking about this week – Round 7.

1. Kane retires – After a premiership, four club B&Fs, All Australian selection and 300 games, Port Adelaide champion Kane Cornes will hang up the boots. I’m beyond devastated and slightly disappointed that it’s happening mid season because I could only see good things ahead for us this year. With an eye to the future, Cornes applied to the SA Metropolitan Fire Service and was accepted, however needs to join the next training intake or risk not being able to apply again. Cornes has been an absolute hero for our club, a tough competitor who will leave behind an immense legacy. Go well, Kane.

2. What happens in Tassie… – Except we don’t actually really know what happened in Tassie, do we? What we do know is that North Melbourne coach Brad Scott had a run in with a security guard, then the club shut up shop and cited “legal reasons” for not commenting. Tasmanian police have confirmed they’re investigating an alleged assault but otherwise, no one’s really talking. Curiouser and curiouser. Not the best year for coaches so far.

3. GWS! – I went to the Melbourne v Sydney game last weekend and before slinking into my seat, decided to go and grab a hot dog. Everyone seemed to be crowded around the small TV screens in the walkway, intensely focused on one of the other games. “Who gives a shit about Adelaide v Gold Coast?” I thought to myself before realising that it was actually the game involving GWS and Hawthorn that they cared about… and GWS were ahead with bare minutes left on the clock. The Giants managed to get up and it would have to be the best win in the club’s short history I reckon.

4. Oh when the Saints – From chocolates to boiled lollies as they say, last weekend was one for Bulldogs fans to forget and Saints supporters to remember. Overcoming a 55-point deficit, St Kilda stormed home to beat the Dogs and made everyone realise that the sons of the west may not be as good as we’d hoped.

5. WADA – Appealing. Again. Yawn. Wake me up when this shit’s over.

“I always have hope for the first five minutes of every game.”

It’s a long hard road being a Melbourne Demons supporter and so it takes a special person to work themselves up to barrack for them. Westy is just that sort of person. Not only is his glass half empty, it’s been smashed to pieces by some pissed bloke in Bay 13. Despite that, Westy still loves the game itself and is incredibly thoughtful about his opinions on it. This season has given him a sliver of hope that there’d be light at the end of the tunnel as the Dees have actually won a game or two, so I decided to collar him and speak to him about football (and who might be the worst Brownow Medallist of all time) before ski season started.

Name: Westy

Age: 750 (being a Melbourne fan ages you prematurely)

Recruited from: Ivanhoe

Occupation: Superhero

AFL team followed: Melbourne Demons

All time favourite footy moment: Meeting Ron Barassi followed by the day we trade Jack Watts

“I actually started off my life barracking for Footscray. Somehow even in the mind of a five or six year old kid I knew they were pretty bad while I was going for them. Their great white hope was Simon Beasley and there wasn’t much else going on for Footscray at the time. I was a bit of a laughing stock at school because they were losing all the time, so in about grade one I decided I would change the team I went for and going through my mind was that it would have to be a good team. I counted up the number of premierships that teams had at the time and I didn’t want to be too facetious and go for the team with all the premierships, but Melbourne had a pretty good strike rate back then so I thought ‘they’ll be my team’. Since grade one I’ve followed them religiously.

I’m the only Demons supporter in my family. My dad went for Collingwood and actually had a couple of training runs down at Collingwood reserves. Mum was Hawthorn because my dad had a chemist shop in Hawthorn and was a sponsor of a couple of the local footy boys, as you do. I think we’ve still got a lovely picture hiding in the roof at mum’s place of one of them, don’t know who it was. My older brother was Carlton, sister was Fitzroy and my younger brother might have been a Swans boy for a little bit and then changed over to North Melbourne.

As kids we had arguments but now since Fitzroy folded, my sister has lost the passion for it. My younger brother is out of the country so he doesn’t get to follow it too much and my older brother is down in Tasmania so he’s not following it much either. Mum was only into the footy because of where dad’s shop was. So there’s really no arguments with them now. My sister still loves the game in general but she doesn’t get worked up about it now her heart and soul has been ripped out. You know how it goes. Stella is already a Dees fan. Libby goes for Collingwood and one of my brothers-in-law also goes for Melbourne so it’s actually nice to find a person with the same affliction as myself.

I don’t remember the first time I went to the footy but I remember a lot of early games we went to. Mum and dad had trouble accommodating all of us kids as obviously there was four different teams to go for. I do remember going to Fitzroy v Melbourne out at Waverley Park and seeing a couple of those games, which was great. Those were the days of Robbie Flower and Mark ‘Jacko’ Jackson so you just went out there to watch what Jacko was up to or watch Robbie dance along the wing, which was fantastic. At the time I think my sister had Bernie Quinlan and players like that running around so you’d get to see ‘Superboot’ as well.

I’ve got lots of games that I remember that I’m very distraught over. There’s the 2000 grand final that I cry over. I remember seeing Melbourne play Hawthorn at Princes Park and Dunstall was just coming back from a knee reconstruction or maybe he had the crash helmet on, one or the other. We got flogged there. I remember Jimmy running over the mark and Buckenara scoring. I remember all those ones. In terms of a most enjoyable game I’m waiting for the grand final win for that one.

There’s a couple of umpires who I don’t like officiating Melbourne games. I think everyone has that, a couple of umpires that they do or don’t like. Look, I think they do do a pretty good job in a game that’s fast, dynamic, ever changing… Of course they’re going to get some stuff right, they’re gonna get some stuff wrong, but that’s part of what makes the game what it is I think. The video review, well that is what it is. I think they could make it easier and quicker. Otherwise the umpires are doing the best that they can, maybe make them a bit more professional, pay them a proper salary so they can all train towards it. Then maybe you get total consistency, which would be good.

I go to the footy a fair bit. I don’t always see Melbourne games but I do watch a fair bit of football. I have a smattering of Collingwood and Carlton in there because that’s what the brothers-in-law go to and I’ve also got the MCC membership. It’s broadened my horizon a bit that way.

Watching at home I give up and walk away. I just can’t watch it. At the game I’m very involved in it. I’m not a yeller for the whole match but I will scream out ‘ball’ – you get some crowd involvement but I do try and keep my head. I used to go with a mate and he’s a passionate Melbourne supporter. He would just go off at everything… You know those blokes who hang over the railing and yell, “What are you doing umpire? What’s wrong? Rah rah rah rah rah!”. He’s a mild mannered man outside but he gets MCG fever – he walks in there and off he goes. Nowadays you would hear me maybe two or three times a match. It’ll probably be on a ball call. And I don’t commentate, I’m not one of those blokes that sits there going, “Ohhhh did you see that?” or “What are you doing Roos? Move him!”.

I yell at my own team. I don’t abuse them. I’ll yell, “Good work!” or whatever cause sometimes you sit near the boundary and you think that they can hear you, whether they can or not. “On ya bike!” is one. I’ll be there with my brother in law and there’ll be frustration talk about the stupidest thing that has just occurred and unfortunately for Jack Watts, he is the man who cops most of our ire at the moment.

Being an MCC member I’ve gotta have a collared shirt on so it’s hard. I used to kit up and put the footy jumper on, make sure I had the scarf and the hat, the sunnies, the binoculars, the radio, the back up batteries for the radio, the bag, lunch, drinks, the whole bit. Now, no. Now I just take the radio and the headphones in. That’s standard issue and all that has to be taken.

I don’t have any superstitions. I can’t affect the outcome of a game. Don’t have to sit there and mark goals or points, don’t have to buy the Record, don’t have to get the same train, don’t have to sit in the same seat, don’t have to take my lucky blanket. Mind you, back when I was going with my mate who gets the MCG fever, there was a time when he thought the LaManna banana was lucky because we were sponsored by LaManna. It was a big fucking blow up banana that people would bring to the games and the whole bit. People would yell out, “The LaManna banana’s here, we’re gonna wiiiiinnnnn!!!”. Aaaaand then the LaManna banana met an untimely end. We actually started losing after that so maybe he was on to something. He was all for the LaManna banana.

Before I was an MCC member I was a passionate Melbourne supporter and I would fork out five, six hundred dollars a season. I started off when I first got a job and had money coming in buying the normal membership, then I started upgrading to support the club. At the time it was the Legends membership and Bob Johnson was the inaugural legend. Went with those then that tier folded and you ended up becoming a Red Legs member. I did as much as I could to support the club. After Daniher went and we started having a lot of on field problems I still supported the club and still bought my memberships, but I got so frustrated with Melbourne. It was the days of ‘tanking’ and we were losing games, they weren’t blooding players. It’s a symbiotic relationship between fans and the club, which doesn’t get talked about that much in that as a supporter I’m actually their employer as far as I’m concerned. I’m paying their wage through my membership, I’m paying out money and I couldn’t support the shit that I was seeing on the field. So my membership stopped and I’ve been distraught since then. I’m just waiting for us to turn the corner and start travelling in the right direction.

I feel I’m very close to buying a membership again this year. There were performances in the past where I didn’t think the players were trying, so I’d sit there and I was having a hard time justifying putting all this extra money into the club. I had to scrimp and save – it’s a lot of cash and you were getting poor results for it. If something hurts, why do you keep doing it? I’m hoping now – and I don’t want to sound like a bandwagon jumper now the nasty ‘tanking’ stuff is behind us – that I can move into fully getting behind the club again.

Paul Roos has made a difference in some respects but I want to see the legacy he leaves. Originally I thought that when Kevin Sheedy was on the market that he was the one we should have taken because the marketing for him would have been fantastic for the membership. The way he coached, or was coaching, he got kids up. You look at what he did up at GWS – while he didn’t have wins, he has really put the groundwork in for them. We’ll see what Roosy’s legacy leaves. I get frustrated, like I know Paul doesn’t win pre-season games. Didn’t when he was at the Sydney Swans. For Melbourne it’s a different kettle of fish because when you’re a team that’s so poor, or has been playing so poorly, you need to give your members hope so they buy the memberships and your club keeps on going and getting stronger. You need kids in the school yard who think that Melbourne had a couple of wins, to become supporters. Because if you don’t have any wins kids at school aren’t going to barrack for Melbourne. My two nieces go for Melbourne and that’s only because their dad does, and they keep it very very low key. You are a laughing stock as a Melbourne supporter at the moment. With Goodwin, we’ll have to wait and see. You never know, we might pinch Beveridge. He’s a man that’s got players playing for him. Clarko’s an ex Melbourne boy too, it would be interesting if he came back.

Did love Jimmy Stynes, did love Schwartz when he was a young bloke – he was fantastic, did love Allen Jakovich, but the player I used to love the most was Rod Grinter. In some of the dark days he was just a real hard nut footballer, like David Rhys Jones but the Melbourne version. And not as bad. Grinter was good and we had Lovett and Viney, those sort of blokes there too… That was a great team with a lot of great players. My favourite player now… well, it’s not Jack Watts. I used to love Stefan Martin as well, just because I could sit in the Members’ and flamboyantly yell out, “STEFAAAAAAN!”. We had Stefan and then we sent him up to Brisbane, sadly.

Ollie Wines. Geez. When you’ve got two blokes like Wines and Viney that feed off each other and compete against each other and strive against each other and make each other better when they play against or with each other, why would you not go, “I’ll take that”. It’s like Jack Watts or Nic Natanui. Who do you take? Nic Nat. I think Wines was always going to be good. If you’re looking at Jack Viney, then Jack Viney is good. And this kid’s on the same par and he would have been great at Melbourne because he would have competed with Viney. I also see the fact that Melbourne didn’t take him as something that’s possibly spurred him on to be an even better player for Port. He’s just a crackerjack kid.

If I could put any other player from any other club in our side then I’d take Selwood from Geelong. Hard nut, leads by example. For us it’s what we would need. If he could just be plucked and stuck in there helping out Nath Jones then that would be fantastic for the midfield. I don’t mind Nath, he’s good. He’s getting there and obviously he’s got passion for the club which is part of what it is (being captain). Also he does lead by example and he’s now getting other blokes that are following his example, whereas for the last couple of years he’s been the only bloke that’s getting caned every single weekend.

I hate any team that beats Melbourne, so pretty much everyone. No one jumps to mind in terms of a player that I hate, or love to hate. Must be something about my old age that you just sit there and enjoy watching these blokes go out and play, no matter what. Jonno Brown was fantastic for so long. But no, I don’t really love to hate anyone these days… apart from Jack Watts. He’s my whipping boy, the poor bastard.

The best thing about footy is winning. Footy is a fantastic escape for two, two and a half, three hours. Now I’m such an ancient bastard I can sit there and think, “Oh I could have been a football player” or “I could have done this…”. Dream on, son. You know how it is. It’s just a fantastic escape for that three hours, it’s a fantastic contest, every game you go to you can get that winning feeling at the end of it. I always have hope for the first five minutes of every game. Then you’ll see which way the ball’s bouncing for the game or you’ll just see if they’re switched on or not, and if they are or aren’t then that’s when you go “I think we might toss it”. Or we might have the feeling we’re gonna lose this one, you get that feeling early on. And then there’s the games that are absolutely crackerjack, like last year’s one where we just came out and beat Essendon. It was just fantastic.

I would get rid of all the talk about the changing of the Brownlow to the best player and make sure it’s always entrenched as best and fairest. That’s the ultimate for me, it’s the best and fairest, it’s not just the best player. To me it’s like you may as well give out gold medals at the Olympics to the drug cheats as well because here’s the fastest man in the world – he’s not the fairest fastest man in the world but he is the fastest. To me that’s the same as the Brownlow. It’s gotta be some bloke who should be admired for the skills and the whole shebang.

Shane Woewodin is not the worst Brownlow Medallist of all time. Definitely not. There has been quite a few shockers that have gotten it and Shane is no way the worst. Plus we traded him and got good money for him.”

The let down.

I think it’s fair to say that any game which finishes with you leaving the venue you’re watching it at before the final siren goes and then Tweeting, “Fuck this shit” isn’t going to go down as one of your all time greats.

After last week looking like the team I know they can be, Port just reverted to the same mistakes we’ve been making all year and let the West Coast Eagles back in to win by 10 points. Again, another game we lost rather than the opposition getting the better of us and possibly one that’s going to hurt for a while yet.

I started work at 5am this morning after only about three hours sleep so a nap was in order this afternoon. I woke up to realise I’d missed the first quarter, checked the score and then headed down to the local pub I seem to have become something of a weekend fixture at. Side note: these 4.40pm Sunday games are shitting me.

Anyway, we went into half time with a decent lead and then came out for the third quarter and promptly dropped the bundle. It’s been noted quite a few times now but the discrepancy in inside 50s is just doing us in. Because we’re letting the other team have a greater level of attack, Port are having to rely on a) our defence continually holding us up (which it has and has been the only thing keeping us in games at times) and b) ensuring we score a goal off every inside 50 we get. It’s no way to live.

I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again; we look tired. For a team that has so publicly talked about the work put into our fitness regime in the off season, Port just don’t look like they’re up and about, at least not in the way we have in the past two years. I don’t know if we’re just holding on and going to show our cards in the area as the season wears on, but right now I don’t see a team that looks fresh.

Something else that someone on social media questioned – which I hadn’t thought of – is the influence of Michael Voss. Unfortunately our midfield hasn’t looked as effective under his tutelage. Clearly Phil Walsh was excellent in this area, hence why he now has a job as a senior coach at a different club, but I’m not yet convinced Vossy has made a positive impact at Port Adelaide. I’m going to hold fire on blaming him just yet but it certainly is food for thought.

Stunned is probably the best way to describe the feeling after this loss. I think it was definitely a game all Port fans thought we would win, especially given we were playing at home. This season has been one of the most topsy turvy in a while and we’re all starting to expect the unexpected, I don’t expect the Power to keep playing this way. To be the best then we need to be more consistent – and sort out those inside 50s.

For a team who’s motto is ‘We never ever give up’, Port Adelaide have spent more than their fair share of games this season simply rolling over. Enough is enough. If we don’t put some massive percentage on next week against Brisbane then I’m going to be very unhappy.

What we’re talking about this week – Round 6.

1. Hodge and Lewis – Honestly, I thought Hodge would get one and Lewis three, however despite the guilty plead the captain copped three at the MRP and Lewis got an automatic two. Both incidents were pretty grubby despite the apologies that followed, and certainly not what you would expect or hope from players in a team that’s been back-to-back premiers.

2. The Doggies – After a brilliant win against the Swans, Western Bulldogs are the talk of Melbourne. They’re looking pretty good after just five rounds and hopefully new coach Luke Beveridge can keep them going.

3. The covered up race – They’re not happy at Port Adelaide after the Geof Motley race was covered up during the weekend’s Showdown, a game that was technically the Crows’ home match. Motley is a Port Adelaide legend and his name, along with both Port Adelaide logos, is on a sign at the top of the exit. Under a deal the AFC has with Adelaide Oval no Port signage is to be seen during Adelaide matches (and to be fair vice versa), however the covering up of the race just came off as petty.

4. Gambling – Apparently around 30 current players have gambling problems. Bored young men with a lot of cash can make for poor decisions. I think clubs need to work hard to ensure they’re educating players to make better decisions and leadership groups that are aware of people with problems really need to confront it.

5. Queensland – If anyone knows what’s actually going on with footy up there, let us know. We have NFI.

Showdown XXXVIII

Oh hey there, I know you. You’re Port Adelaide.

It’s a comforting feeling watching your football team and recognising them by the way they play. For the first few rounds of this season it feels like something has been slightly off kilter at the Power. Last year’s dominance and accuracy appeared to be MIA, even in the win over North in which the team struggled to hold the lead at the end. It wasn’t until that awe inspiring first quarter against the Hawks that I thought we might still have it in us, but the insipid final term left lingering doubt. Tonight though, I recognised us.

We are Port Adelaide. And we’re back.

Showdown is always an intensely competed game regardless of where each of the Adelaide based teams sit on the ladder at the time. There’s something about it that lifts each side to play at a level that’s almost out of place in the home and away season. It’s not just playing for four points, it’s playing for pride and local dominance. I’ve been to two Showdowns in Adelaide, both won by Port, and have fond memories of watching the great Chad Cornes absolutely give it to the Crows fans in a 2006 game at AAMI Park (which I was hung over as hell watching and seated right in the sun). Not being a native South Australian I can’t comment on what the week is like in workplaces and schools and households across the state, and I don’t have that born hatred of Adelaide that most Port fans cultivate. But I know I bloody well enjoy beating them.

Tonight’s 24-point win in the Crows’ home game at Adelaide Oval seemed to be something of a revival. Port lead at every break but it’s how we led that was impressive. This is the first time this season I’ve really seen us scrap for every contested ball – we worked our guts out tonight chasing anything and everything down. Travis Boak really played a captain’s game here and his second and third efforts seemed to lift the side and inspire them to do the same. I thought a lot of the time Port were very unlucky not to get frees for tackling the Crows players and causing a holding the ball offence, however the umpires seemed content to let it go. Our defence was strong as Adelaide repeatedly sent the ball into their 50 and to be fair, poor kicking by the Crows really let them down in the first half

One of my favourite things though was how incredible Lobbe and Ryder seem to be working in the ruck together. I reckon this is the first game where they’ve really found their groove and it was a pleasure to watch them get first hands on the ball and repeatedly tap to a hard running Port player. Schultz didn’t miss a kick and he’s such a valuable asset; when he has the ball we know we’re in safe hands. It was also good to see Gray back in the side because that man is just a Rolls Royce. Absolute class.

Tonight was nerve wracking but no damage to my hands to report this week. Instead it just kept me on the edge of my seat all night (and nervously stopped me from finishing all my chicken parma) as the Crows kept finding a way to bridge the gap to under 10 points. With the spectre of last week’s hideous fourth quarter still casting a shadow over Adelaide Oval I was slightly concerned, however the team did me proud this week and really ensured they dominated through to the end.

I don’t have Fox Footy at home so games like this that aren’t shown on free to air TV are always tricky for me. I could have stayed back an extra two hours at work and watched the game there but it probably would have been annoying for my colleagues to have on and I’m not sure my reputation can take the battering of having them all know what I’m like when I watch football. Plus I don’t really want to be hanging around at work in case it gets busy. I could have listened to it on the radio but it’s just not the same. In the end I went down to a local pub in Camberwell only to find the Essendon v St Kilda match was being played on the big screen and we’d been relegated to the back of the bar. Never mind, I ordered a pint of Carlton Draught and settled in next to the bar flies. Lucky they all seemed to be going for the Power. Later when the Victorian game had finished, I switched to watching it on the big screen and ordered some dinner, plus I ended up sitting next to another lone Power fan so it was nice to have a chat to one of my people. There was also two blokes nearby who were just keen to watch a good game of footy and commentated what was left of the game. I nearly lost my shit when Boaky grabbed the ball and ran around in the pocket, trying to bounce one though on a tight angle before ultimately missing. “Daicos!” one of them yelled and then when the kick went astray, the other said loudly, “I would have kicked that.” I couldn’t stop laughing and then they started laughing too.

Anyone who’s talked to me about footy would know that one of my favourite sayings is that the Crows kicked five goals in three minutes to make it into the 1997 grand final. Basically that means if you don’t have a 30 point buffer and there’s three or more minutes to go, then it ain’t in the bag. A couple of friends and my dad told me they thought we had it midway through the last but I can never relax – until that siren goes I stay on edge. Watching Kane, Robbie, Chad and Jay kicked those last ones was an exceptional relief. I’m feeling good about playing West Coast at home next week, who are sitting fifth on the ladder but are 3-2 the same as us, and I know it sounds cheeky but a percentage booster would be much appreciated.

Tonight Port gave a nod to it’s heritage by wearing the white back jumpers. I hadn’t realised how much I’d missed them. It was good to see that not only di we look like the Power of old, we got back to playing like them too.

What My Friends Think About Footy

Just a couple of mates, discussing the football.